Oh, 2020! The year we all learned that nobody will survive the zombocalypse because apparently toilet paper was #1 on everyone’s must-have-to-survive list. “I’m starving! This is terrible! But at least my bum’s looking spiffy.”
The year that Mother Earth just had ENOUGH of everyone saying that there was no way to lower emissions and slow climate change.
The year the Karen’s came drunkenly stumbling out of the woodwork enmasse in all of their crazy glory.
The year the medical profession had an influx of newly minted internet doctors, who didn’t need 10 – 14 years of medical school, just the knowledge that 5 minutes on Reddit can provide and the bull-headed expertise of an uninformed opinion. Because who needs a medical license in 2020?
The year that we learned:
“God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I’m the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if he wanted to, but he’d rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm!” “Smite me oh mighty smiter!”
The year time travelers try to avoid.
The year we all silently wondered, “What if 2020 is just a trailer for 2021?”
We would hate to go against the tide and be the bright light at the end of the 2020 tunnel, so join us, and together we will blame Netflix for adding to our misery this year as today, Scarlett Media presents 10 Ways Netflix Ruined Our Sanity in 2020. If you are also ready for the new year t6o start, let the ball drop on the like and subscribe buttons or hit the dislike button if you would prefer to keep 2020 going, and you don’t mind being wrong.
Spoilers ahead.
Number 10, Space Force:
Starting this list off was a show whose ratings were a point of contention, even within our team at Scarlett Media – very closely resembling the divide between the critics on Rotten Tomatoes that gave Space Force a 38% and audiences who gave it a 75%. At the end of the day, Space Force made it on this list, because we COULD have agreed with those that thought it Saved 2020, but then… we’d ALL be wrong.
Space Force follows General Mark Naird and his team, who are tasked with establishing the U.S. Space Force and putting “boots on the moon” in 2024, and was derived from the real life Space Force founded in 2019. With a show that was created by comedic geniuses Steve Carrell and Greg Daniels and a star-studded cast of truly funny, brilliant people like: Steve Carrell, John Malkovich, Ben Schwartz, Lisa Kudrow, Jane Lynch, and Fred Willard to name a few, we were all looking forward to a show of equal caliber to that of The Office. The truth of the matter is not that Space Force was bad, it’s that we were disappointed and it was just one more disappointment that this year could have done without.
Number 9, Holidate:
Like us you may have gone into this film thinking it’d be a Christmas movie. (Patronizing:) How naive. Because, why stick with one holiday, when you can span all the holidays, and make a real mess of things! But, that isn’t even the heart of why this movie absolutely deserves to be on this list. Holidate follows Sloane, a young adult who is done with being single during holidays. In a random sequence of events, she and a stranger named Jackson, agree to be each other’s platonic dates for every celebratory event, to avoid the dreaded and awkward family-initiated hook-up. Like all corny rom-coms, the script stays true to the outdated and overplayed trope of girl-meets-boy, girl-friends-boy, and the big climax, drumroll: girl-loves-boy. Add to that, jokes that just don’t land and Holidate truly tested our sanity in 2020.
Number 8, Spenser Confidential:
Mark Wahlberg stars in this action.. no comedy.. wait mystery or perhaps thriller? Annnd I think we just hit on why this movie is on our Ruined 2020 list. Spenser Confidential tries to poke its confused little fingers in all the genre pies and gets a 37% on Rotten Tomatoes for its clumsy efforts. This buddy-cop movie follows a former police detective named Spenser as he returns to Boston to solve a murder conspiracy. With a generic story, cliche action scenes, and weak humor, Spenser Confidential is what no action flick should ever aspire to be – plain, old, boring. Oh, and it has the shocking audacity to tease the possibility of a sequel. Because the magic of Marvel movies can be replicated simply with a coming next teaser built into the script, right? On the flip side, Marky Marky does take off his shirt in the movie, so if that’s worth an hour and a half of mind-numbing boredom, then by all means have at it! We won’t judge… too much.
Number 7, October Faction:
This show should be good in theory, but unfortunately shoulda, coulda, woulda, does NOT a hit show make. Based on a comic by the talented Steve Niles, a comic book author famous for 30 Days of Night and many other dark comics, Netflix’s October Faction follows monster hunter couple Fred and Deloris and their teenage twins. With subplots that have no resolution and characters that actually manage to take you away from moments of attempted intensity, it’s no wonder that this show was cancelled after just one season. If you are a fan of the TV Series Supernatural, if you love the brother-duo Sam & Dean, and if you are looking for something to fill the void that Supernatural’s end will inevitably leave…. then look elsewhere, because October Faction is definitely, definitely not it.
Number 6, The Goop Lab:
Even before this show existed, there was a part of YouTube that made fun of how ridiculous some of the items in the Goop store were, from “healing” stickers, to candles that smelled like a ladies… well you know. They had a range of products that one could compare to classic snake oil fraud, marketed cure-all elixirs. Now Netflix has decided to jump on the coo-coo train and drag us all down to crazy town with Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop team, something that no one really asked for. In each episode they review wellness topics, from psychedelics to vampire facials. Yes, you heard me right. The Goop Lab has got you covered! Watching this, you’ll know that it’s utter nonsense, but Paltrow has everything structured so stylishly that she turns what should be outrageous and ridiculous, into something – god-forbid – normal! The Goop Lab brought our sanity into question this year and so, we leave you with this advice: Watch at your own risk and don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Number 5, The Kissing Booth 2:
This romcom is a sequel. Yes, yes I know. Who would have thought that The Kissing Booth 1 could have spawned another demon child, The Kissing Booth 2. We should have known, after all, money does have a way of throwing good taste right out the window. This regrettable movie follows a young couple, Noah and Elle. After enjoying a romantic summer together, Noah must go off to Harvard while Elle attends her senior year. As the movie drones on and you wade through the mire of visual garbage that is basic, teen, romance drama tropes, challenge yourself to hold on to the little sanity that this year has left you. It won’t be easy. We KNOW. This movie broke our brain. But it’s a fun little game nonetheless. However, if you suffer from low expectations, there is a very real possibility that you might find something here to enjoy, but we make no promises.
Number 4, Hillbilly Elegy:
Hillbilly Elegy should have been great. It’s based on J.D. Vance’s 2016 book Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis. The book dives into the stories of children who, after growing up in painful environments, find their purpose in life, without falling victim to their circumstances. The movie had the potential to become the latest Oscar bate: a heartfelt story paired with outstanding acting, but it swung so hard the other way that it gave us whiplash, ending up as one of the worst movies of the year, instead of one of the best. It had good intentions and it tried hard, but at the end of the day the movie took itself too seriously and it just felt desperate. A good film should not need to try so hard to forcibly remove the teardrops from our eyes. (Woody Harrelson ish imitation) Our tears fall au natural, gaddammit! To be fair, audiences on Rotten Tomatoes have rated Hillbilly Elegy a whopping 82% to the critics rating of 26%, so we leave it up to you to decide whether or not you’ll risk your sanity on this one.
Number 3, Coffee & Kareem
We love Ed Helms and our hopes were high for another solid comedy that would make us laugh our worries away. This was not it. Ed Helms plays James Coffee, a less-than competent cop who is forced to team up with his girlfriend’s foul-mouthed 12-year-old son Kareem, after Kareem’s plan to have Coffee beat up by criminals, backfires. Get it? Nope? Don’t worry about it. It’s not even worth repeating, just like it wasn’t worth watching. This movie is the result of people who either are not funny enough to write anything remotely witty, or are just too damn lazy. The amount of reliance on the shock value of crude humor – which in our opinion is the lowest form of humor – spouting out of the mouth of a 12 year old is just so painfully unfunny, it was enough to give us a fledgling desire to hop back aboard the reality train of 2020. And anyone wanting back on 2020, must be losing their mind! Coffee and Kareem did have some redeeming value to it though and they came in the forms of Taraji Henson & Betty Gilpin. As entertaining and talented as they are, it just was not enough to stop the sanity drain caused by this film.
Number 2, Desperados
Desperados. Where to begin. Another disappointing and painfully unrealistic predictable romcom with an outdated view of romance and cringe-worthy jokes. The plot centers around Wesley, a quirky young woman who is unlucky in love until one happy day she meets her dream boy. After a thrilling date which seems to go well, she doesn’t hear from him and so… she shrugs, smiles, and moves on with her life. Right? Ha! You wish! Obviously, the only way to remedy that situation in the movie world starring desperate women, is for Wesley and friends to send a crazy email to a man she hardly knows, only to find out a little while later that said man is hospitalized in oh, let’s see, Mexico, and then whaddya know, fly to Mexico, with her friends to break into lover boy’s hotel room in order to delete the email. Because that is what well-adjusted normal women do. This movie had our sanity teetering off the edge of a very, large, shiny building because the drop to the world of insanity was far more attractive than a world where this movie existed.
Here we are. This is what it all comes down to. Our number one choice. But, before that… Wondering why we took the low road and focused on Movies and TV Shows that Ruined 2020, it’s super simple: The love of hate-watching and our impossibly charming immaturity possessed us. If the art of hate-watching lies deep within your soul, as it does ours, then hit that like and subscribe button to make sure you don’t miss any of the fun.
Number 1, The Last Thing He Wanted:
Wow. This movie must be embarrassed and so it should be. A 5% on Rotten Tomatoes? For shame! The Last Thing He Wanted tells the story of a reporter who leaves her job to care for her dying father, and in turn becomes caught up in his life as an arms dealer. The film stars Anne Hathaway, Ben Affleck, & William Dafoe, and is directed by Dee Rees. How could they go wrong? A stellar cast and a phenomenal director. Seriously, check out Dee Rees work if you haven’t already, just pick ANY title other than this one. This incoherent film, with serious narrative shortcomings and poor character development, could not be redeemed even by the tremendously talented cast. The Last Thing He Wanted was so convoluted it had us questioning our sanity. It had us wondering if the movie was so good, that it completely went over our heads. No, no. The movie was just that bad.
Do you also enjoy hate-watching? Does it provide you with as much entertainment as it does us? Are there any other movies or shows you wished would have, but didn’t, save your sanity in 2020? Let us know in the comments below!
We at Scarlett Media wish you all a Happy New Year and look forward to hate-watching with you in the year to come!
Thanks for watching!
Credits:
Writer: Grant Herbel
Editor: AB Scarlett
Voice: Scott
Video: @_FearOK
#Ruined #ScarlettMedia #netflix
Scarlett.Media productions are for commentary, criticism and parody. All media samples are for transformative and fair use.
See Hosseinzadeh v. Klein, 276 F.Supp.3d 34 (S.D.N.Y. 2017); Equals Three, LLC v. Jukin Media, Inc., 139 F. Supp. 3d 1094 (C.D. Cal. 2015).
